This Is How It Starts

I have a lot of movies.  Over 500 at last count, and that was a couple of years ago.  I can assure you the collection has grown since then.  These aren't the 500+ best movies in the world.  They aren't even the 500+ mediocre movies.  Most of them are bad.  Really bad.  Bad enough to drive a man to worship the elder gods in hopes of being eaten first when they wake from their millennium long slumber.

And that's just the way I like them.

Sure, there are some actual gems in the lot.  I have Kurosawa.  I have Bergman.  I do know what constitutes a good movie.  I even watch them on occasion.  But that's not what you're here for.

What you're here for is schlock, pure and simple.  Forgotten teensploitation movies.  Space operas with a special effects department that relies on duct tape and bubble wrap to create alien planets and creatures.  Horror flicks with more gore than plot because they had to choose between writing more pages of the script or shooting one more nude scene with the female lead.  Puppets.  Slashers.  Cartoons.  Robots.  The 80's.

I have all of these in my closet of movies and more.  And I'm going to tell you about them.  One a week, or more if I can stand it.

Welcome to Eric's Closet of Schlock, I hope you survive the experience.